So I’m rewriting the intro for my paper, but I don’t really get what kind of introduction she’s looking for. Like, an artsy, reel you in kind of intro? Or just something quick and then get straight to the information that needs to be in the paper. So my original title was Mommy, or Sissy? And I meant sissy as in like sister sissy, but it could get confused for like the other definition of sissy, so I changed it to: Mother, or Big Sister? I kind of liked the first name better, but I guess it can be misunderstood.
His mom stops by at home and shoves a granola bar down her throat as she leaves to her second job, the night shift at the clothing store down town. Max, the eldest, is feeding some baby food to his younger brother Tyler as he reads his history book that’s open on the table.
Her mom’s flight from Boston is landing in about two hours, and her father has been paged to get his butt to the ER, once again. Liz is at home, with her two year old brother and their Nanny. After having grown up with a busy mother and a father finishing his residency, she feels obliged to pay attention to her younger brother. She wants to give him the attention he never received.
There are many, many different reasons and familiy set ups that cause an older child to raise their younger sibling. That’s pretty much my intro, I’m not sure where to go with it next.
I think your intro seems to follow along with all of the examples that she gave us. It's luring and interesting, and well worded. Maybe the next paragraph should be centered around a professional quote or some statistics?
ReplyDeleteI think both titles would work pretty well and I really like the introduction, it does a good job of setting up the topic of the paper.
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