Blog 33 - chem 201H is like death in class form.

So, i've blogged about 201H before, but i'm gonna have to do it again. And it will be whiney so sorry ahead of time. Today, I took a midterm that I've been studying for since last Sunday. Yes, pretty much an entire week, minus 2 days of the weekend. I've been studying a couple hours every day, thats a lot of total hours. Never in my life have I ever studied close to that many hours for anything, at all, ever. Usually I study, meaning look at stuff and ya know, kinda study, the night before. There may have been one test I ever studied for, for more that one night, but thats probabbly it. So yah, this was a lot of studying. I thought about the importance of the midterm, being an honors molecular genetics major, honors chemistry is kind of important, especially since I want to go to medical school. Having studied everything and looked over everything, I went into the midterm fairly confidently, and walked out dumbfounded. I really, seriously think that was the hardest test I have ever taken in my entire life. I have never studied this hard for a test and then felt like I completely failed it. I feel like this is a big transition in my life, I feel like i've hit a learning block in my life, I don't even know how to react to the test. I walked out speechless, I don't know how to feel. If I could have anything in the world right now it would be to go back to that last friday we had to drop a class without a W, and I would drop this class. It's a physical chemistry course, and i'm a visual, right here, step by step, organized information and answers kind of learner. This is all theoretical, unvisualizable, conceptual stuff that I now feel like i'll never be able to understand. I just don't know what to do about this class anymore.